Imagine the Possibilities!

I took Jack to his first party in a long time this week and had a lot of fun. Jack and I went to a training session with James and were soon working in the arena with every stride a celebration that we were back on track. James did have to calm us both down a little as the trot got bigger and bigger! The canter was fun too and Jack contained his excitment and soon I felt like I could trust him to concentrate. My favourite moment was asking Jack for right canter on the left rein as I crossed the centre line and the look on his face was priceless after that he started listening to me and concentrating! The packet of mints he munched at the end of the session was well deserved.

Jack has been chosen as Horse of the Month for CTR Magazine issue 214- its lovely to see him in the magazine again. There is also an article on taking BHS exams along with my dressage roundup column.

January Dreams

The sun is shining today and what a magic time of year this feels now that the snow has gone! I have Samaranz on a pre- purchase trial from Kim Moloney and now that I have started riding him I am more keen than ever to secure the ride and the adventure ahead. Sam as he is known on the yard is a very generous youngster and is a pleasure to handle and to ride. Next month I am aiming to take him to our first training session in the region. Jack is still going strong and I plan to compete at Moulton next month too. If the sun stays out I will try and post some photos of the boys under saddle to show our progress. Short post but I have some riding to do- Hurray : )

New Year New Start

I have found that I have spent the time traditionally used to make resolutions in deep reflection not because I do not have goals and targets- I am still resolved to make things happen to achieve my dreams of riding at advanced level so the reflective state has been an organic process.

I had so much fun at the start of the month training with James and the sessions were successful. James seems to understand where I am at and where I want to be and he helped me work with Jack praising his good behaviour and not reacting to his moments of uncertainty. Jack was very motivated in the sessions and I felt a joy return to his work as he and grew in confidence in our partnership and it was a return to the happy days of trust and fun. Jack and I have been enjoying ourselves out hacking and in the show jump field for months but had become worried about riding in the arena after some difficult sessions last year. Jack thrives on fun and being praised. Jack is not a naughty horse but he can sometimes behave in ways I wish he wouldn't. I came away from the first session believing that if Jack did include some airs above the ground I could cope and so therefore I did not need to worry about that possibility. I think that's why the joy returned. James explained it as Jack and I getting a bit cross and tense with each other at times and that once we had let the worry of those times go and focused instead on all the positives we would be back to working as a team. Day two was highly successful and it was as though we were a different combination. We had so much fun and I found myself with the wonderful centred feeling which I can only describe as a personal internal balance. A sense of symmetry, self belief and adrenalin. A sense of riding being possible, incredible and the most wonderful thing in the world. James works on the basis of positive reinforcement for horse and rider. On day one James was reminding me to walk and pat Jack after good moments, by day two I was trusting my feel and praising Jack when things felt good. After one particularly good transition I was so happy I walked and flung my arms around Jack's neck. I am over the moon to feel like I have my horse back and I imagine Jack is relieved to have his rider back. The rider who trusts him and thinks he's wonderful and can be amused at his spooking and silliness.
I carried forwards my elation to the session with Sam too. It was a lunge session and I felt as though I was back at exam training all over again- I was desperate to lunge correctly and effectively and uneasy lest I should make a mess of things. Of course I was able to lunge Sam and to show how we were progressing. James and I discussed the next steps and I feel excited yet calm about the month ahead. There is quite a lot of homework to focus on before I meet with James next month and this is helpful. I feel very honoured to be working with Sam, not only is he well bred and closely related to a horse I admire , Shadowfax sharing Sandro Hit and Rubinstein lines he is the most charming and relaxed horse I have had the privilege to meet. Its as though he has been on this Earth before. I know I need to be brave and that riding him is something I can do and I have tapped into my confidence reserves built up by passing exams that alarmed me and jumping things that should not have passed a sensible risk assessment. Then it snowed and I am on edge WAITING. Trying to hold on to my feelings of courage and adrenalin. This waiting leads to reflection and my writing commissions have contributed to the process too as I have produced copy about taking and passing exams and becoming a coach I have naturally revisited my own past experiences and the journey to now. Far too much emotion I feel. I know the feelings I want to hold onto. I find myself in a place which is similar to the early days of working a horse on the bit. There is a magic feel as you master the connection then you lose balance or something changes and you worry that you will never again be able to get the feeling back. A trainer said to me at that time don't be afraid you know more than you think you do and you can get that connection back. Right now I am working on the basis that my centre is not lost its just not being used. My light bulb moment came at the weekend. Phil and I talked a lot last year about moving forward and two things stayed in my mind, the first was that when things are going well "look in the mirror" a perplexing statement at the time as I was still buzzing from the HI experience. I realised as I was working through my core exercises with more confidence in my balance than I have felt for a while that he was talking about reflection. Look at yourself from the outside to see what needs to change to move on was how I finally understood it. The other thing that I have held onto was "Next Job" So now its time to turn reflection into action. I had two presents at Christmas which are still making me smile; one mug captioned "Keep calm and carry on" and the other "Horseriding- the art of keeping the horse between you and the ground." Simple instructions I am working on.

November Photos

Future Perfect Challenge

Following on from the Home International I was overjoyed to be home with the horses - it was hard saying goodbye to Sebastian but he too was pleased to be home after his adventures. After a Championship event there is a gap to fill and a lot of emotions to process. Jack and I have been for some very long rides and just this week have returned to the arena- he is such a mind reader and it was fun playing with a little gentle work. I can't wait for Jack to feel ready to party as I am very keen to compete him again. I am also looking forward to introducing Jack to James.

I am keen to stay on the Central squad next year and I would also like to think that I could stay on the squad that will travel to the Europeans in 2013. The future is so exciting but I face a challenge too as I would not ask Jack to travel long distances and I think it would be unfair to ask Sebastian to do the same though he is a frequent flyer and a very easy traveller he was tired after the journey to Scotland. For now I have the Inter Regional Team competition to aim for in May and the Home International Competition in October as a goal. I would like to think that Sebastian and Jack would be considered and am aiming to present myself for selection at the next viewing day. May seems a little way off but trust me its just round the corner : )

My future challenge is to welcome and produce FHS Samaranz for Kim Moloney. Samaranz is rising four and is by Samarant out of Romanz in Dur, he is a black Oldenburg gelding who I have fallen in love with and I have the honour of working for Kim to produce him. Our aim is for me to introduce him to the world at Senior Camp in May. This is a perfect opportunity for me and the future is looking bright.

Samaranz is by Samarant pictured below. His Dam Romanz in Dur was cover girl with Lee Pearson for BD magazine last year. Samaranz arrives at Solitaire Dressage very soon.

Home International Photo Album

Team RUBY claim 6th at Home International.

Team RUBY included myself with Sebastian, Kate Rowlands with Rusty, Susie Jennings with Decree and Wayne Lightbrow with Sylvano. When we headed off to Scotland together with the Central squad we were hopeful of riding great tests and dreamt of a great team performance but for the RUBY riders this was our first tour together and we were none of sure how the event would feel.

I joined the Central Squad in May and when I heard my name included in the Home International Squad my focus for the summer switched to Rowallan and the challenge ahead.
Suddenly the week of the event arrived and I found myself walking my horse in the indoor school at Widmer EC. Sebastian belongs to my friend Rachel Harris and it occurred to me as I chatted quietly to him how much we ask from our horses and how many people supported us to get to this point. I worked out that we could have filled the school to bursting point if we had invited every squad members support network to the gathering. Sebastian's thoughts were less intense I imagine as he seemed to take the whole experience in his stride and happily loaded onto the Gillies horsebox as the first horse aboard.

We were on our way to SCOTLAND.

The Central Team were the first to arrive at Rowallan. Camp was established quickly and we focused on walking our horses and persuading them to get their heads down to clear their airways and stretch their legs. Once the horses were bedded down and evening stables were complete it was time for the riders to settle. We were a small group at a big international show centre with three days before the Championships. The long journey aside we could have been at a regular regional training session and yet the pressure was building. We headed gratefully to the Fenwick Hotel. I chatted to Sebastian at late night check and realised the greater distance than miles we had travelled together since May.

The next day Sebastian was so tired though contented and I concentrated on making sure he drank enough and prepared endless small feeds to tempt and soothe him. Meanwhile we received our team clothing and at this point a tidal wave of emotion flooded over me. My resolve to perform and to keep Sebastian safe and sound were my tasks. Somehow the feeling is of too much time to fill and yet not enough time to do the task justice. I chatted to my team mates and was pleased they found themselves on this emotional roller coaster too.

On Thursday I schooled Sebastian and then went hacking with Ben Franklin and Bailey, the sun was shining in Ayrshire and the horses' walk improves as we explored the lanes. Friday was competition warm up day for me and I was glad to channel my energy into arena time before the trot up. I was relieved to place 6th.

As we waited for the trot up my emotions reached fever pitch- I have trotted many horses up under exam conditions and for vet inspection but nothing can match my nerves as I entered the indoors arena and panicked at the thought of running in a straight line and presenting my horse- all was well and Sebastian enjoyed the spotlight. Langarth Sebastian ACCEPTED- three magic words.

Saturday was difficult for me. I stuck to my competition plan and was prepared for the test and yet I didn't ride the test I visualised. I was not myself and though I had some good moments I also had some sticky situations.- in essence Sebastian and I were both trying too hard to work together- I was surprised by the impact riding for England had on us- James was calm and said that it was OK and that I should stay focused on riding a clear round on Sunday. My team mates had performed so well that by Saturday evening we were in fourth place. I found this situation motivated me because I did not want to be the drop score the next day. My self belief faltered at evening stables. I felt as though I were riding XC and had fallen in the water- now I needed to get back on board and ride to the finish no matter how uncomfortable I felt about my mistakes. It was time to forget that I was not where I wanted to be and to concentrate on working in partnership with my horse in order to compete. The text messages I was exchanging with my supporters at home were invaluable and I did take Phil's advice to work on my core stability exercises. Whilst my muscles were burning it focused my mind on the "Next Job".
I spent the night dissecting N38 and planning how to earn marks for each movement. I got up and stayed in the moment focusing on plaiting and arriving at the work in with enough time to do my job- to ride with feel and understanding of my horse and his needs. In Sebastian's case with his TB blood this involved cantering for a good 25 minutes in true and counter canter in a light seat. Thank goodness our team trainer James Burtwell was there with the courage and experience to guide me through a work in that worked best for Sebastian.
I did feel a little out of place pounding around the arena event fashion! Sebastian had a ball and his back relaxed , he started to work through and we bonded further as I felt the magic acceptance of the contact and Sebastian's joy at powering around scattering a few horses in our wake. I was feeling confident now and the test felt achievable. James presence at the arena side was essential and he guided me through the sticky transition from event work to dressage test precision- James cautioned me to be patient when Sebastian said No thanks and then suddenly I was riding a horse who was working equally into both reins.

Its funny the things that pop into my head- I had a flashback to my stage IV exam and my head filled with superlative comments I wanted to make to reflect the feel Sebastian was giving me. James sent me on my way to focus on keeping the feel and I was back in the arena. In 2009. At the Home International and my number was called. OH MY!! A last quick look at the test- you know this trust yourself, Oh MUST STAY CALM!!! Time Slowed. I patted Sebastian- it was an International Velvet moment I was ready to do my test and in we went.

The bell rang. I came around the corner and we kicked the boards, my mind went back to Joyce Head's advice to abort the entrance if it feels wrong. Breathing Space. I rode into the corner properly and off we went. There are not the words to explain how much I enjoyed that test. Each movement felt as though I was presenting an opportunity for the judges to award us marks. There were areas where I knew we would not score to our potential but overall it was an enjoyable test and a good note to finish our HI debut on. I was able to enjoy every moment and that is a special feeling.

James was happy we had performed the test and shown Sebastian at his best. I think James rode every moment of the test with me. Walking out of the arena, chatting to James it felt like the first step towards my Championship ambitions. I felt privileged to be able to work with James in a high performance environment. The Winchfield bursary has already shaped my future competition dreams and I feel honoured as well as excited at the prospect of competing in 2010 with James to guide me.

The support from my team mates was incredible and I will always treasure the memories from this event. Riders from other regions were supportive and because of Sebastian's heritage I felt part of the Welsh squad too as I lined up for a photo shoot with Julie Lees' Langarth Ruby.

PRIZE GIVING and Central RUBY were called into 6th place in the team event- I was almost walking on air as we took part in the presentations. Scotland Tay were the deserving winners and it felt right for the home nation to lift the title. As Central are hosts next year it gave our squad food for thought for the months ahead and I know we will all work together to build on what we have learned about team riding.

THANK YOU Team Scotland for our Championship Adventure!